amsterdam!!!!

Since I will be in Amsterdam the next few days it is going to be hard for me to keep this updated because I will be busy studying fine art at the Van Gogh museum.

When I get back you can expect lots of posts where I exaggerate how awesome everything in Amsterdam is. I'll probably compare it to how things are in the States (fuck you Milt) and act downtrodden that I won't be able to stay here forever. I'll even talk about how I stayed away from the tourist traps and got to know the real Amsterdam--the one that only the locals know about. Yeah, my journey to being that guy is almost complete.

Then again one might say in my attempt to not be that guy I am becoming the guy that tries too hard not to be that guy. So am I the "dude playing the dude, disguised as another dude" or "a dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is"? I am afraid that my attempts at self-deprecating humor is leaning closer towards one-trick pony status that always goes for the low hanging fruit than actual poignant witticisms. Perhaps my error lay in trying to be funny. After all, this is a travel blog: it's suppose to be bad and poorly written.

I will be back Saturday night and class starts on Tuesday. At some point in between I will hopefully have something interesting to say about Amsterdam.

probably the best beer in the world and i had no camera

The Carlsberg factory may not have been the most exciting place to visit in Copenhagen but the cheap beer more than made up for it. Had I brought my camera I would be able to elaborate more on what I witnessed but I left it at home. It wasn't terribly exciting however since it was a self-guided tour. Reading is fun and all but I really came for one reason: the classic beer bottle collection the beer.

The beer was awesome. If I come back home without having developed any of the typical come-back-from-studying-abroad-characteristics like shoehorning it into every conversation or adopting local colloquialisms into everyday conversation (or starting a travel blog--shit) then I will certainly be forced to be the guy that sneers at American beer and drinks only the finest European microbrews. Except that I'm cheap so I may just do the former and not the latter.

Either way, the beer sommelier was knowledgeable and recommended a Carlsberg beer that had 10% alcohol. In the immortal words of Uncle Jemima's pure mash liquor, it means it will get you fucked up for less. As an added benefit it also tastes much better than King Cobra, Old English, Country Club or any of the other various malt liquors I drank in high school.

I must commend the Carlsberg family. Good taste in beer, art collections and they sponsor Liverpool. During the tour we were treated to a film screening where they show the 2005 Champions League finale highlights over and over again. Once they excise their editorial rights and remove the ginger family from talking about how they never gave up hope during the match then it will be a perfect film. I only wish that we had been able to bring our beer into this room.

That pretty much summarizes the events that transpired. Anything else would just make the trip seem much more grandiose than it was in reality. The beer alone is worth the price of admission since you get a tour of the place and two beers for 40 kroner. Since I usually pay 25 kroner at the bar for a single beer of lesser quality I'm going to wager a guess that I will be touring the factory a lot.

As a brief aside, the night ended with a get together with nearly everyone from my Danish language class. Our teacher even showed up which was interesting. He may have never respected my Danish abilities but he did compliment me on my whisky drinking capabilities. I'll take it.

reduced to this

IMG_0247
Originally uploaded by adeherre

It took me awhile but I finally found the cheapest place to buy alcohol in Denmark and the cheapest brand. Ladies and gentleman, I present Statesman Scotch Whisky. It may seem like a good idea at 80 kroner but it leads to poor decisions. Such as dancing on stage at a bar. Not that there is any video evidence to prove that I did or did not do this.

On the bright side, I am done with my Danish class on Friday and I am going to Amsterdam for five days on Tuesday. Class doesn't start until February 1st and I only have 2 days/2 hours a day where I actually have to be in class.

Everything is awesome.

the weather

You would think after a little over two weeks of being in Denmark that I would have realized how essential a good jacket, a warm hat, gloves and a scarf are. You would also be wrong. Every few days I get this crazy notion in my head that it isn't that cold outside or I forget to bring it with me and decide that it is not really necessary. Like most of my problems in life this is all directly attributable to myself being an idiot.

Tomorrow I am going to buy anything and everything necessary to stay warm. Even though I have been telling myself that I won't need all of this when I come back to the States and that it can't stay cold forever. Those points may be true but I am past the point of sacrificing present comfort for potential wasteful purchases. If I never have to listen to another person tell me how dumb I am for not wearing enough clothing to stay warm (which they do, and they are always correct) then I will consider my money well-spent.

Alternatively I may just invest in a flask and just try to stay warm via the wonders of alcohol. This approach has served me well too. Alcohol unfortunately has this terrible side effect where I stop being self-conscious and instead make an ass of myself. Highlights include asking a Scottish person if they hate Catholics or Protestants, forgetting people's names and subjecting the public to my inability to dance.

Clothing may be more expensive in the pocket but it is cheaper than my dignity.

christiania

On Tuesday after class I met up with my University mentor Wesley and we took a visit to Christiania. While some may argue that it is a shade of its former self these days it was still an interesting experience. For those of you too lazy to read the Wikipedia link I provided, Christiania is neighborhood in Copenhagen that used to be a military barracks. In the 70s a bunch of hippies took it over and proceeded to declare it an autonomous region. Long story short--you can buy weed there.

My intentions of visiting Christiania were pure. I didn't go there for the weed. I just wanted to check it out because it reminded me of Hamsterdam from the Wire. I would show some pictures of the place because the art work is interesting but you aren't really allowed to take pictures there. Wesley told me that a few summers ago some German tourists received quite a beat down after ignoring this rule. Seeing as how I enjoy my undefeated fight record (1-0) I thought it would be best to leave my camera at home.

The main street of the commune is appropriately named Pusher Street. The street used to be aligned with carts where one could purchase their illicit merchandise but these days it is done in more of a stealth manner. Within the last decade the government has changed and began to crack down on the trade. I did see one table that was proudly displaying some hash and a fairly large joint but for the most part it was out of sight.

I soon found out why it was out of sight as we turned to corner and immediately ran into a group of six policeman patrolling the area. The cops aren't exactly welcomed inside Christiania but they also don't really have a choice. Within the first half hour I was there I saw three groups of six police in total. The only thing that disappointed me is that the residents didn't have some sort of elaborate bird calling system in place to warn about the police like they do in bad parts of the US (at least that's what Training Day led me to believe). I'm guessing it likely involves cell phones and just hanging out at the entrance. Technology ruins the imagination.

On our way out of Christiania we saw the police talking to a man running a booth with Thai sticks painted on the front. The Danish apparently are not ones for subtlety. While they were interviewing him he seemed to reach into his pocket and throw a pack of cigarettes to the other side of his booth. I followed Wesley over to where it landed when all the sudden an explosion of some sort went off.

I am not one for hyperbole so I want to stress that when I say explosion I mean of the variety of a large firework like an M80 or something else similar. It's not like I was in Baghdad. It did scare the shit out of me though. According to Wesley he turned around and couldn't see me because I was busy getting the hell out of dodge. No one else seemed to react in such a pansy-manner so I am guessing that it is a) typical for residents to do this when cops are around and b) that I am not as brave as I have been led to believe.

We left after my not-really-near-death experience but returned after seeing three police vans speeding by us on the street. It was a paradox for me: I've always wanted to participate in a riot but I also don't want to get into any sort of incident where people are yelling in a language that I can't understand. Or an incident where police are beating me while speaking in a language that I can't understand. There was no riot and I did not get my ass handed to me. I can't decide if that qualifies as a win-win or a lose-win.

a brief delay and updates

I would have been posting more but I was doing my best to not turn this into a forum where I would just vent my likes and dislikes. After all, that's what my Live Journal is for! In the last week since I wrote about my trip to Copenhagen I've been mainly just hanging out with friends from class, visiting some museums and the like. Nothing terribly interesting but in the interest of full disclosure I will try to give my best recollection of what has happened in the last week.

Wednesday was not terribly eventful. I tried this food that was described to me as a meatball made out of fish. I will say that it was quite good. It is not something I could ever see myself cooking due to my lack of culinary skills but I could see myself ordering it again. My plan of trying new and "exotic" danish foods is currently batting 1000%. Further explorations are however hampered by my limited budget and the fact that I am afraid to buy food at the grocery store if I can't a) tell what it is and b) know how to cook it. I'll probably have to bring along a Danish person with me to translate next time I go out shopping.

Thursday I went walking around Nyhavn with two of my friends from class who also hail from California (although both go to a much better school than I). It may have also been the coldest day of the month since I arrived on the 1st. I had fun exploring the area but the prices are much higher due to it being a tourist attraction. I've had a hard time adjusting to not being able to get large coffees for 2 dollars (or be a dollar menu millionaire) but it was more pricey than normal. I'm trying my best to not complain about the costs since I willfully moved to the most expensive city in Denmark and one of the most expensive in Europe but if I was able to murder someone for a free meal no one's life would be safe.



On Friday I slept through my Danish class. In my defense I set my alarm for 6:45 pm instead of am. It isn't much of a defense at all but I enjoyed my prolonged rest and finally caught up on my sleep schedule. Now I am back to my normal hours. I also used this day to go to the Student Hous which is a bar/club run by the University. They allow people to work there for free as bartenders and in return are given some free drinks, cheaper prices and no admission costs. I signed up to work on Wednesday the 20th so you can expect a post in a week about my failure to emulate Cocktail.

After a few rounds of drinks at the common room of a friend's residence hall, most of my Danish class went back to the Student Hous for the promise of more alcohol and good live music. It would be safe to say that half of the bargain was not held up. The first band's music can only be described as screamo music combined with a Sounds of the Ocean CD. The band was suppose to play for thirty minutes; I was told management made them get off after six. The second band was much better in the sense that they could not have been worse but that is the highest compliment I am willing to offer them. Maybe the Scandinavian music scene is much different than what I am used to but I am unwilling to adjust my musical sensibilities if it means liking the bands I had heard.


I went to the Staten Museum for Kunst the next day. It was interesting but I think I preferred the Ny Carlsberg. The art collection was larger at Staten but I felt like they just threw too many pieces up on the wall. I enjoyed it either way (especially since admission is free). I left the group early however to meet up with my mentor. The University has a program for international students where they are assigned a mentor who is able to help them get adjusted for city life. Thankfully the one I was assigned is a cool guy. He gave me a cell phone and took me out for drinks at a bodega with one of his friends. A few rounds of beers were consumed, I took a shot of some terrible Danish drink (a free shot of malice as I would call it), and I learned a lot about the Danish political system. It was a good night.


My Danish class decided to get together the next morning and gather for brunch. We found a place that had a buffet so we headed there. Much to my dismay it was a vegetarian buffet. The food was okay and I was able to eat a lot of it yet it wasn't the same knowing that no animal suffered for my appetite. Once that ended we continued our journey and headed to the Ny Carlsberg museum. Since I was the only one that had been there before I ended up showing two people around after the entire group splintered. I found a part of the museum with mummies that I had some how missed on my previous excursion.


That about sums up the last week or so since I posted. I'm starting to get adjusted to the high prices, smaller portion sizes and public transportation so that's a plus. I expect to come back to the States as one of those people who constantly references their time abroad even when it is completely out of context. Maybe I'll wax poetic about my semester at the University for added amusement. So far it has been worth the added debt that I am trying not to think about coming here. I might even be taking a trip to Amsterdam in two weeks with some classmates.

danish is terrible (i am terrible at it)

I am out of the hotel and settled into my residence hall. I'll take some pictures once I put away my things so that I'll have some documented proof that it was at one point clean. First day of class was yesterday and I can already tell that I will never learn to speak Danish. At all. It is terrible.

What was really odd was the way the classes were set up. About two hundred or so of us (international students) were in a lecture hall and had to sit through a quick orientation explaining how the three-week language class was going to be set up. That in itself wasn't too bad, but what was strange was once the lecture concluded a teacher would randomly pick students out of the audience to decide who was in what class. I guess when two hundred people collectively cannot speak Danish it doesn't really matter how classes are organized.

In my class I ended up with 3 other people from California, 5 or so Australians, and three ladies from Switzerland, France and England. An odd collection of nationalities but I can take solace in the fact that none of us are any good at Danish. I am hoping that at the end of three weeks I can at least say "Hello I don't speak Danish" in an understandable way. Sadly I think this is but a dream. I was going to take a class in Danish during the semester but if my abilities are stagnant by the end of the three week course I may just pass. While I would like to learn Danish I also want to have lots of free time to hang out around and about the city, the country, and hopefully other places in Europe.

Most people seem to be understanding about my linguistic handicap. The bus drivers have saved me from further confusion many a times (and I've only been here four days). I've had people approach me on the street to offer help as I stared into a map trying to figure out exactly where I was. The food service here, however, has been less helpful. Being unable to read Danish I've found myself passing the responsibility onto whomever I am purchasing food from by just asking what they recommend. Otherwise I would be left to pick food items off a menu based off of price or just choosing at random. In some places this has worked well, in other places not so much. I can't blame them for not speaking English since I am the foreigner in their country, but as an almost-white American it is my right to feel that everyone should bend over backwards for me. At least now that I've moved into the hall I'll be able to find some people to go out with who can act as my translator.

As a quick aside, here are some observations I have made in my short stay so far:

• The good thing about not having wool socks when it is -6 degrees outside is that you can't feel your toes after 20 minutes so it really doesn't make a difference
• The good thing about the Kroner being less than the dollar is that I feel awesome dropping 100 dkk on food even though it is really only 20 dollars
• I don't think it is a product of culture shock to say that the street signs in Copenhagen suck. They just do.
• It's tough to feel home sick when you come from a terrible home so i got that going for me
• Danish people may have a similar affinity for Ted Danson as Germans do for David Hasselhoff. Otherwise I can't explain why he is on at least one channel at all times. The other night while trying to fall asleep I saw him on no less than three different channels within an hour or two. Crazy.
• When I first got here I noticed that none of the bikes had those bulky chain locks that everyone uses back home. I assumed this is because everyone in Denmark is trusting. It turns out that it is actually just because they had smaller, stealthier locks on the back tire. Please note that I did not find this out by trying to steal one.
  

lost and sleep deprived

The first two days in Denmark have been unremarkable except for my inability to sleep and not get lost. I arrived around 8:30 local time and took a taxi over to the hotel. The taxi driver had the honor of being the first person to question me about why people in America hate health care. He also made fun of me for being unable to pronounce the name of the dormitory (Tietgenkollegiet) that I will be staying at once school commences. In fact, he asked me to repeat it just so he could have a good chuckle about it. I figured both events would happen but within the first 20 minutes? Guess I should go ahead and get that maple leaf patch.

Once I arrived at the hotel is was 9:00 or so local time. Which means it was about 12:00 in the time zone that I was used to. I didn't want to fall asleep and screw up my sleeping routine so after a brief breakfast, unpacking some clothing, and realizing that my laptop battery was not suitable for the adapter I had brought (a fact evidenced by the now no-longer working adapter sitting in the corner of the room) I decided to take a walk around the city. I also decided not to bring a map with me. Like all mistakes in my life it is directly attributable to the fact that I am an idiot.

The streets were littered with discarded fire works. It makes me wish I had decided not to be cheap and had flown out of the 30th so that my New Years would not have been spent on a plane. Danish people love fireworks as much as trashy people from the south. They had cool fireworks too--not just poppers, sparklers or snakes. I also liked that the pond was frozen solid yet there were a bunch of ducks just hanging out there, not giving a fuck, like the pond was liquid.

I was also surprised because there was a serious lack of snow. Not on the ground or the roofs. I had asked the taxi driver about it earlier and he told me that as soon as it stops snowing they immediately remove all of it from the road and salt it to hell and back. Good for them, snow sucks.

After walking for an hour or so I decided it was time to head back. It was around this time that I realized I had no idea what the name of the street was where my hotel was located. "No big deal" I thought to myself, "I'll use landmarks to find my way back to my room." Spoiler alert: I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. My one hour adventure turned into a three hour adventure where I was within a block on my hotel and still couldn't find it. I tried to retrace my steps to no avail. In the end I hailed a taxi driver who lectured me on the importance of knowing your address. I am the worst possible ambassador for America.

I returned to the hotel at 4:00 and fell asleep. So much for trying to keep a healthy schedule. I woke up at 11 and went out to try and find a place to eat. My first meal in Denmark: Indian food. Nothing else was open. I wish I had gone to one of the hot dog carts my brother raved about before I had left. At that point it was 11:30 and I could not go back to sleep. I spent the next 8 hours laying in bed trying to sleep while watching American TV shows trying to pick up on a few words from the translated subtitled. I think I can say "yes" now.

I went downstairs for breakfast only to discover that at some point in between King of the Hill and a National Geographic show that it had begun to snow. So much for my plans to rent a bike and explore the city. When it stopped snowing I walked down the street to try and buy an adapter for my laptop. None of the stores within a 5 minute walk had any leaving me forced to walk back to the hotel defeated as the snow began to fall again. After another hour or so I finally figured out (I asked the hotel clerk) how the bus system works. With a map in my back pocket I went out to try and find a store that would sell an adapter.

If you think that I didn't find a way to get lost again you do not know me at all. My ability to read danish begins and ends with telling the difference between Østerbrogade and Østbanegade. Thankfully they are with a 5 minute walk of one another because I picked the wrong one. I was able to buy a new power cable and was on my way back to the hotel as someone who successfully navigated the city transportation.

Except not so much. I got on the right bus but heading the wrong direction. The bus driver was nice enough to let me stay on while he went back the other way without charging me more. Which was good because I did not have anymore DKK on me. It was a 15 minute bus ride to get to Østerbrogade and an hour to get back home. When he offered to let me off at the metro station since the train would be faster I declined not wanting to get lost on yet another medium of transportation.

A few more hours passed before I went out to grab dinner before an early bed time. My logic being that since I hadn't slept in almost 24 hours at this point I could go to bed somewhat early and wake up early with my sleep schedule aligned to the country's time zone. My adventure to getting food led me to nearly buy a meal full of just deserts because I went to the first place that I saw doing take out. I realized my error and decided that I should try and avoid early onset diabetes. I found a place that had Smørrebrød in prominent letters and since I had read on Wikipedia that people in Denmark love those sandwiches I went in to buy one. The sandwich? Meh.

As an added kicker, my plan to catch up on my sleep schedule failed as well. Seeing as how it is 4:22 am as I write this my plans for an early bed time led me to wake up after only 7 hours or so of sleep. I think I'm going to either rent a bike tomorrow or take the bus down to where my school and dorm are so that I can be at least a little familiar with the area. After all, I am going to get lost again.