adventures in italy (milan and bologna)

Italy is awesome. EasyJet is not. What's the point of buying a six pack of beer at the airport that says you are not allowed to drink the beer until in the air, but as soon as you get in the air and start celebrating, a flight attendant tells you that you're not allowed to? There is no point. I'm just glad I was able to drink 2 before being scolded.

Milan is not that great of a city to visit. About a week before I left for Italy I was warned by multiple people that it really isn't a tourist destination. I disregarded their advice mostly because I didn't do any of the planning for the itinerary of the trip and also because EasyJet, even with their draconian alcohol policy, is the cheapest way to fly to Italy from Copenhagen and they only fly into Milan.

Within the confines of the city there is not much to do except get drunk and shop in expensive stores. Since I am poor, and poorly dressed, I did more of the former than the latter. The first night in Milan we went to a discotheque. Since at least once a month I have to attempt to go outside in inclement weather without wearing my jacket I chose to do so in Milan. I thought it would be okay since it was 8 degrees outside and I have slowly adjusted to the negative temperatures of Copenhagen. Since I have shitty luck due to my fondness for doing dumb things it of course started to rain once we were too far enough from the apartment to turn around.

The next day just involved doing the few touristy things possible in Milan while watching my compatriots shop. While we were outside the Milan Cathedral a grifter proceeded to put bird seed in my hand and start clapping so that pigeons would eat out of my hand. This was slightly amusing at first but my naivety led me to believe that this guy was just being friendly. After I told him no more he told me it would be 20 euros. I've done many dumb things in my life and bought many things I instantly regretted but I was not going to give him that much money. I offered him the change I had in my pocket which was 2.50 euro. I am still an idiot for giving him anything at all but at least I saved 17.50. Please don't correct any fallacies with the previous statement.

The next day we set forth to Bologna to meet up with Missy's friend Elena. Once we were there I finally was able to eat a slice of pizza (therefore allowing me to wax poetic about the pizza I ate in Italy for the rest of my life) and we settled in. Missy and her friend left for another city to go to a Bloody Beatroots concert leaving me behind. My original plan was to just walk around aimlessly and see what happened. Likely nothing would have. However one of Elena's roommates, Jerry, spotted my bottle of Jamison and after we shared a drink and a cigarette he offered to take me to the Irish pub where their other roommate worked.

The bar was interesting. I watched a football game (another thing to add to my get-back-from-Europe-and-be-a-douche list) while drinking beer and trying to communicate with people who didn't speak English very well. At one point I was under the impression that a guy from Uruguay wanted to fight me because I didn't speak Spanish. I later found out that he was just really drunk. After a few hours at the bar we stopped by another place and grabbed a drink of whiskey (for free which made it even better) and I was dropped off at a new establishment while Jerry went off to find an ATM that would accept his card.

On the wall of this place they were using a projector to show clips of what I believe were 1920s cartoons. Had I been on drugs my head might have exploded Scanners style. I was way too drunk at this point and was just waiting for Jerry to get back so I could leave. Instead I ended up joining tables with a group of Italians and answering all of their questions about America. Someone finally asked me if I owned a gun. One of them, whose English was limited to just saying California, gave me a lighter. If you press a button on the side of the lighter the bottom lights up and projects a picture of a nude lady. I will treasure it forever. As the night came to a close I hung out with them outside and was treated with more gifts. Both being CDs, one of an American band called Good Riddance and the other being an Italian singer named Vasco Rossi.

The next day I woke up to find Missy and Elena had returned. I also found out that her window shutters do an amazing job at keeping out sunlight because we didn't wake up until close to 3 pm. We went on a long walk (3.5 km) uphill to see the Sanctuary of the Madonna di San Luca. I wish I could say that I wasn't short of breath the entire time but that would be a lie. Since we arrived right at closing time we were also treated with being locked inside the church and having to take some weird back way outside.

The rest of the day was mostly uneventful. We were all still tired from the day before (a reoccurring trend) so we took it easy with dinner and relaxing. Bologna ended up being my favorite city of the trip. It wasn't too large and I was able to explore the city by myself at points. 1 1/2 days was the perfect amount of time.